Thursday, June 4, 2009

Poor Kate.

It's not really pertinent to my life, but I just have to say something about Kate Gosselin from the show Jon and Kate + 8.

To give some background, I've occasionally enjoyed the show in the past, but you couldn't really call me a big fan. I'm not a mother at this point, and so I have not yet become deafened to the sound of screaming children. If too much of anything is going to give me a headache, it's wine, not whine.

Anyway, I feel for these people, especially Kate. Neither of them are perfect people, and neither are any of the anonymous cocks on the internet that feel obliged to persecute them. Yes, they signed up for noteriety, but no one signs up to be lambasted. Yes, they make some questionable choices, as individuals, as lovers, and as parents. Ultimately, most choices people make are selfish: have kids, don't have kids, cut that @$(@*&$ off in traffic, fake sick from work, steal the neighbor's wifi, drive "buzzed," etc. We justify all the ridiculous things we do to ourselves, our kids and our families, but it doesn't mean anything. Anything. Everyone believes they're doing the best they can, which renders any grand societal concept of a moral compass about as useful as a roadmap made of pudding. People are twats, almost without exception. This is especially true when no one is there to smack their mouth when it starts running off with them.

Jon and Kate seem like average people, with average kids and a surprisingly average life when you consider that they have 8 youngish children and run their own business. I might be alone in saying this, but people should back the fuck off and worry about their own jacked up families. Most kids will tolerate a certain amount of crazy if they know their parents love them. Most husbands will tolerate a certain amount of crazy if their wives are good cooks and give good head. Most women are going to make way too much of everything anyway.

^^^ Case in point.


I've been thinking a lot lately about what bonds people to one another. There's shared history, understanding, acceptance, and common interests. There is also a sense of obligation that I am still trying to understand. I'm not talking obligation in the sense of, "I have a responsibility to care for this person," but rather, "I have a responsibility to tolerate this person's abhorrent behavior because society has deemed it so." Friendship, in many ways, is much less complicated than family. It's socially acceptable to walk away from an unhealthy friendship. Maybe that's why I hold my friends in such high regard: I have to choose to have them in my life, every day. I feel somewhat the same about my marriage, in that I chose to be here, and I have to make choices that are responsible to both of us. My blood relatives are difficult for me to understand, often impossible for me to justify, and yet somehow I love them and continue to allow our lives to co-mingle, if at long intervals (for the relative sanity of all involved). If someone told me I do this out of self-loathing, they could have a point. I'm far from the only one.

I wish this had more of a point and less of a ramble, but I'm still muddling through it myself.

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